Michael Jackson

(PVT) I miss him.

Advent

(MTF) Advent


"I love the spiritual realm but rarely will tap into it." B. Martin



A reality of life is the constant waiting.
We wait in lines, we wait for punch lines,
We wait, a minute , a lifetime, to leave , to return,
We wait for beginnings and for endings.


Monet waited daily for
The unraveling of colors over rooftops,
The shifting hues against clouds and stone walls.
Miles Davis waited for blue notes,
Tobey for white noise inspirations,
Angelou waited for a time of telling
Why a caged bird sings.
I’ve waited in a wilderness without words,
Waited, like a noun for the right verb
To move a sentence.


Advent is spiritual , creative,
An unrelenting plea to choose
And enter into holy places,
Into the realm of trust and entrusting ourselves
To unravel like colors on a canvas,
Telling the truths of our light And dark illuminations


Waiting in the silences.
Waiting, in the spaces between words.
For a new song to emerge,
Lyrical and buoyant
With words perfectly intended ,
To woo and evoke,
To conjure and remember
The opus magnum that I am

Albertsons

(pvt) french bread, efferdent and sugar

Home SWEET Home

(FM) So the straw is getting shorter and shorter as time quickly flies by approaching the near deployment date of my husband. It has been quite an interesting experience living here in Texas, not one I'd like to repeat. The greatest thing of this place is having my little family together. Our life is one life to live I tell ya. Much respect and appreciation to Mom Margo for being SUPER mom. When I see my life fly by with boys football practices 3 days a week, football games, cheer leading practice and games, home life/chores/dinner, kids homework, choir practice, and now drama.... I wonder how in the world did she do it all without going bazurk? When we first started this chaotic new schedule, I truly believe that I had a nervous break down because I was so overwhelmed, exhausted, lacking restful sleep, and to top it all off, burned out from work. I thought to myself a few times that I felt like giving up and running away from it all. What made it almost impossible for me was not the new routine itself that was getting to me, but also my poor parenting techniques, ie. yelling, screaming at the kids about every little thing, getting frustrated because the house wasn't spotless clean, all because my candle had burned out. I finally got some sense knocked into my big head. I had realized that this life was not all that hard to live, if I'd only try changing my approach with the kids. I FINALLY learned that yelling at the top of my lungs to get things done in very little time wasn't working what so ever. I realized that not only am I the problem, but I am also the solution. Whether I was ready or not, I had to force patience, a trait that I never had. So this week turned out to be the greatest week here in Killeen TX for our family. This new patience thing is contagious amongst the whole family. We have a few areas to polish, but like with football or cheerleading, practice makes perfect.
So back to the Title of this blog "Home sweet Home"... Military rumor has it that my husband will deploy to Iraq for 15 months anywhere from in January-March. We are uncertain of the actual date at this time. The military loves anticipation and leaving everyone in the dark until the week of. As sad as this will be for me, there is light. The children and I will be returning home for good thank God. My little sister introduced to me the thought and possibilty of moving to Seattle and is keeping her eyes open for me as far as housing. So we'll see. I don't see why not, and it would be great for the kids. Bottom line is I'm totally excited for the homecoming in the near future. Although afar, please keep John in your prayers and may the good Lord bring him home safely and in good health.

I'M COMING HOME!!!

(KF): So I'm really excited to be coming home this weekend!!!

I'm supposed to be going to see the Phantom of the Opera with my little brother and I am nothing shorter than FLIPPIN' EXCITED!!! Anyway, I can't wait to see my family and everyone back home...

Not anything too exciting going on with my life other than this one guy (more details later ) so I just drop a few great thoughts I have constantly as of this week!!! YESSSS!!! I'll see the Dub real soon!!!

...Get Up...

another store run

 (PVT)

• Napkins, the 400 pack...get the white ones...
  
• Fixodent, the Original 
• juice...she didn't specify.  Usually she says, "Fruit Punch" or "Orange Juice" or even "Get the frozen concentrate".  This time, she's very specific about napkins, but she left the juice choice upto me!!!

Patience

(FM)- How do you know when to consider yourself a patient person?

• When some jerk cuts you off while driving, instead of speeding up to fly them the bird, you simply take a deep breath a say "I wish they would be more careful."
• When you get stuck in traffic and hit every red light, instead of cursing aloud and banging on the steering wheel, you simply take a deep breath and turn on the Christian music station.
• When someone stares you up and down giving you the stink face, instead of yelling at them "what the f*** you lookin at" you simply take a deep breath, look at them in the eyes with the cheesiest smile and say "hi, how are you?"
• When you ask a subordinate at work to do a task and they straight up tell you "I ain't doin this or that" instead of finding the nearest largest object to break over their head or big mouth, you simply take a deep breath and reply "you seem to be having a tough time, what can I do to help?"
• When you come home after a long day at work and your spouse has a trail of dirty laundry all over the floor, instead of roaring at them about what a slob they are, you simply take a deep breath, kiss their round head and assure them that you love them as you are doing their load of laundry.
• When the whole town blasts their obnoxious music, instead of getting all frustrated about it, simply take a deep breath and join them but blasting your favorite obnoxious music which happens to be the opposite of theirs.

These situations happen to all be just a few things that I have struggled with recently. Instead of getting angry all the time, I had to figure out another way to manage. I learned that by killing with kindness and turning the cheek the other way leads to by far more positive results rather than carrying out with my initial response.

Sala's Grocery List today

(PVT):
                                            bread

                                            toilet paper

                                           5 lb bag of sugar


Last week sometime, my mom was super excited because she found a great deal on mayonnaise. 7 bucks for the big jar. You know the kind of jar you buy because you have been asked to make potato salad for 200 people? That jar. But it's Best Foods and she was pretty disgusted with herself last time because she picked up a different brand made with Canola Oil.
"it's not real mayonnaise. Why make it if it's gonna be stupid mayonnaise? They probably make mayonnaise with olive oil now and I bet that's stupid, too."



Man, I love my mom.

Baxter Smalls

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

something new

(PVT): I got an ipod today! My first. Are you wondering? Who are the artists who made my very first playlist?

The O'Jays
Four Tops
Diana Ross and the Supremes
Don Henley
The Eagles
Boston
Annie Lennox
Earth Wind and Fire (no surprise)
Deniece Williams and Johnny Mathis
John Denver
Al Green
Bryan Adams
C & C Music Factory
James Taylor
Tupac

yeah say somethin! The best part about an ipod is the "i". So selfish, but I don't care. I put John Denver on my playlist because I could; just in case some teenager gets ahold of my ipod, I want him know....it's my ipod! Wow, kinda bitter....

I honestly didn't know I was gonna dig this so much but there's something about listening to the music of your soul. A soul seems to have its own music...its own playlist. I love that.

Taken for Granted

(F): We are all guilty of this... taking loved ones, successful careers, or even life itself, all for granted. Well, perhaps not all of us, but I speak solely for myself. I've been intending to participate in oddball vortex to keep in touch with you all, but I've allowed myself to get caught up in "stuff". I've always been one to take things, people, and situations for granted, but the realization of it didn't hit me hard until I was stripped of everything that I ever knew and loved. It was when I was saying my farewells for my departure to Texas when the sensation crept upon me. I finally realize now how selfish I've always been, especially towards the ones that I love. It all started even before I left home the first time. It was in disgrace, and caused hurt to my family. Over the course of the last 12+ years, this viscious cycle I continued to exhibit taking all that I love "for granted." It was so easy to allow myself to put off in facing the truth, all the hurt and betrayal, at a later time. (Yes Fa'ana, I suffer from situational procrastination syndrome) But in the end result, I realize that I've not only hurt those that love me, but myself as well. I have failed to show my loved ones the deep love that I have for them that is burrowed so deep in my heart. Although I was absent alot in the last decade and then some, my heart quietly ached for them. It was all the shame that overwhelmed me, so I continued to live in the dark. I hurt myself by missing out on all my sisters and brothers growing up into young adults, missing out on my parents blooming into their middle ages, and mostly, my eldest born developing into this wonderful boy that he is. I have failed my family and am guilty of taking them for granted. Perhaps it took this much, to be far away from you all, to realize that I have the best. God has been good to us all by blessing us abundantly with loving, generous, forgiving characters--POWER!

Sorry!

Hey everybody! I finally made it, but I've posted in the wrong place, so check out the new blog and I'll hope to get it in the right place next time. I love you all ladies!

I feel bad

(LT): Why do I do the things I do?
For instance:
Why do I just get up in the middle of watching a show/movie with people I love (sisters, nieces and nephews) who I rarely spend time with and go off to my room? i try and slip away like they will not miss me and go to my room...

Why? My friend says I am a 'now you see 'em, now you don't' person, which I guess means that there are those times when i just want to 'peace out'. i love my nieces and nephews cuz they don't trip really....but it is beginning to bug me that I would rather go to my room and sleep when my time with my nieces and nephews is very limited. I suck...and I feel bad.

Speaking of feeling bad, when in the heck does God really release a person from guilt? I feel bad about things i can't control...like the way people think of me. I have this probably unhealthy need to make things right...a fine line between what is reconciliation and what is an obsession with wanting people to like me.

What other things do I feel bad about?
for instance....not blogging. So my niece calls me out for not blogging. Just two people have really blogged...the others of us have been slacking - like we have other things to do...not.

What else? I actually liked Sex and the City.

What else? Not working out with my trainer for a week.

What else? Not reading or praying like i should be.

What else? Flunking one of the students in a class I taught. He actually deserved it but I feel bad.

What else? Being out of shape...

What else? Not being a better friend to people.

There's more...but iwill stop before I start feeling bad about all the things I feel bad about.
I am 46. There's so much crap God has to keep working on in me --- what exactly does a transformed life look like? And how long does it take?

And I think that I could appreciate complete transformation without going through the pain of the process....how bout one of them "immediate" miracles? That would be excellent.

And lastly, I feel bad when I question God's ways...

Kellerman!!!

(KF): Okay, so my new show... Prison Break... Let's just say that this show has completely caused me minor heart murmurs and anxiety attacks!!! But I need to talk a little bit about a man named Paul Kellerman.

Now, Paul... let's just say that he has had a rough life. In his early life, he lived a rough life with his sister (who he loves very much) =) He then became a man who worked for the Vice President of the US who was a twisted psycho BIATCH!!! lol...hahaha!!! But man, Paul has been killing people left and right this entire show!!! I have to be honest with you though, I have to give him some props. He has been seriously smackin' the shit outtah some of these characters!!! (So, as you know now, he 's obviously a bad guy)

You might be wondering why I am talking about a killer dude. Just recently, he has totally joined forces with the good guys to (quote) "The President screwed your lives up she screwed mine too! If you want that bitch to go down, then you have to come with me... NOW!!!" this guy is completely hood gauranteed!!!

Anyway, so this whole show, he has been ruining people's lives ex: Lincoln Burrows, Sarah Tancretty, LJ Burrows... the works. But again, he has just testified against the President and "The Company" and now he is like... MY FAV!!! I'm pretty sure that I love me a killer man now!!! =)

Hahahahaha!!!

from rich's blog

(PVT): I actually read it first on EK's blog and Lucy's blog but I actually jacked it from Richie's blog....hee hee. My friends are so smart and they love me, too.

5 things you can’t live without under 5 dollars: 24 oz iced americano-no cream or sugar, time with my friends, high fives and hugs from all the little kids in my life, bomb-pop popsicle off the ice cream truck, a personal letter in the mailbox...old school like!

5 favorite movies + 1 honorable mention:

5+ songs you could listen to over and over again: i'll be good to you - chaka khan & ray charles, anything EWF, taking you home - don henley, life goes on - tupac, king of kings (he's a wonder) - cece winans.





5 people who have had a positive influence in your life: can't do this one, too many to name.

5 things in your purse you cannot live without: keys, cell phone, sun glasses, journal, data base

5 moments that changed your life forever: junior high, cougar football and all things WSU, april 17, 1980, august 6, 1998, lbc: tcl'93, '97 and all of the hs camps i co-directed

5 current obsessions: the kingdom, the life and heart of jesus, God's vision for white center, praying for the people i love and reading the bible with the people in our community....

It's Beyond Me...

KF: So I thought I would just let you know that I am being forced against my will to blog at the moment. The reason being, that some of our own blog members are not participating as often as they should, but considering that me and one other member of our blog group are constant with this stuff *ehem, me and Aunt Pat*, I thought I would just toss out some of my thoughts.

These past couple of days have been completely ridiculous. People are just sooooo retarded, but coming from me, I used to be that way also (glad to say I'm not anymore) lol... I just wish that I could just slap some sense into some people and just say, "Wake up and smell the clean cut grass dude!!!"

O well, it is out of my hands. All I can do is just stay as sane as I can, and help others around me to stay as sane as possible!!! O wish me luck!!!

*This is pretty much my expression all the time!!! (this is the "Sure Whatever..." face)

Sala's grocery list

(PVT): My mom, Sala, is the funniest person I know.  A couple times a week she sends me to the store or she calls me in the middle of my day and says, "Come take me to the store."

Her lists are sometimes pretty random.  She sent me for these items on Monday:

Fried Chicken

Fruit Punch

Laundry Detergent

Aleve

That's her, in the middle, with two of her grandsons: Jack B and John.  Also her in the profile picture with my dad.  Undoubtedly, you'll read more about her as she is not only the funniest person in my life, easily she's the most interesting one, as well.

Indulge Me

(PVT) I love Earth Wind and Fire! Aside from the fact that no one makes music like this anymore, I can mark some of my best junior high, high school and college memories by these very albums. I owned these albums in high school, then bought them in cassettes and now own the four cd EWF greatest everything set. Then, my friend, Dave Templin did the thing that true true true friends do: he made a cd for me with just all of the EWF songs that I love. You know that feeling when EVERY SINGLE SONG on a cd is your favorite....yeah, that's what's up!




Why am I so ramped up about it now? Joseph, Jeff and I picked my niece up from school, today. She's home for the summer (see post below) and anyway, we did a road trip to and from Spokane in one day...that cd from my true true friend carried us from Ritzville to Vantage! There was some serious groovin' in the car, today....September, Boogie Wonderland, Serpentine Fire, Love's Holiday, Jupiter, Fantasy, That's the Way of the World, Shining Star, I Write a Song for You, Reasons, Sing a Song, In the Stone, Be Ever Wonderful...I know, you wish you were with us. I wish you were with us, too.

PRISON BREAK!!!

KF: OKAY SO NORMALLY I DONT DO THIS BUT THIS IS THE NEW DO DUDE...

PRISON BREAK!!!

THIS SHOW IS NOTHING SHORT OF STRAIGHT HOOD...THIS SHOULD HONESTLY BE THE DESIGNATED SHOW OF THE DUB!!!

I GUARANTEE, AFTER TWO SHOWS OF WATCHING, YOU WILL BE HOOKED!!! ANYWAY, I JUST FIGURED I WOULD WRITE SOMETHING SINCE IM BEING ATTACKED BY EVERYONE TO WRITE SOMETHING... EVEN THOUGH EVERY ONE ELSE IS JUST AS ABLE AS ME!!! =) O YEAH, IM COMIN' HOME BABY!!!

SUMMER TIME!!!

Keilah(KF):

There are two ways I'm feeling about the approach of summer.

1). Excited as hell (pardon my French)!!! I have had one of the most...interesting, for lack of a better word, year here at Whitworth. But, the good thing is that I will be going home to the neighborhood that I miss sooooo much!!! DUB CEE!!! I will be going home to family and friends who have done nothing this year but always make me feel good about myself because they miss me so much =) (no better feeling than that). I miss everything. I miss the people, the way of life, the language, the diversity...EVERYTHING!!! Everything that makes White Center "White Center" is what has me motivated to finish off the school year with a BANG!!! But I know the thing that I am excited for the most is being with my family! Now that my life is different, I don't have to lie about where I am going. I don't have to lie about who I'm going to go see. I am excited for that because for the past five years of my life, I have always lied during the summer in reguards to seeing the person I was dating at the time. But, now that I am SINGLE (holla!!!), I have the opportunity to be a better person to my family, focus on myself, and build better relationships with my family, the ones who have loved me the most throughout all my trials and errors!!!

2) I'm nervous. I'm nervous to go home because of "personal" issues that have occured within our circle. There is no need for me to detail anything in specifics right now, but because this is where I can write and my family can give me their input, I thought I would just throw that out there. I'm being honest that I am nervous for the outcome of the situation at hand, but I know that In some way, God is going to make a turn around in some one's life... Some one is going to have to learn the hard way.

~Well, this was just my little babeling session for the day, Aunt Lina called me and was like, "Post something else...hehehehe" She's so funny!!! But yes, if this makes no sense, just call me =) I have nothing but time as a broke college student!!! =) love.........

...Get Up...

Keilah K. Fanene

A Tree in the Front Yard

Pat (PVT): When I was little, my parents planted a tree in the corner of our front yard. They must've had some landscaping bee in their bonnet at the time because aside from pulling weeds and mowing the lawn, we're not big on knowing what to do in a garden. In fact, when the tree was planted, I remember thinking, "Hmmm. Why?"

My own interaction with plants is a chronicle of fruitlessness. If I said, "I am a total disaster at it" I would be understating the situation. The only success I've had with a plant was the one Traci Kallberg gave me for my birthday, I must have been 16. I don't even know what kind of plant it was. It lasted through high school but my freshman year of college dealt it a fatal blow. It's no surprise. I was a wreck and was in survival mode for most of that year, so if something needed me it was its severe misfortune. A cute little shovel ornament came with the plant and I kept it for a long time post mortem....why? I don't really know. Was I trying to honor its memory or was I trying to assuage my guilt? The shovel did little else but remind me of my failure to keep a living thing alive!

More insight about my botanical roots: years ago, I was in the yard, talking to a neighbor, an avid gardener, and I showed him a pair of rose pruners that I bought (why was I having this conversation anyway? I think I was trying to be interesting. As if prattling on and on about a subject of which I know nothing could be interesting for anybody!). Anyway, Scot (my neighbor) very astutely and without a hint of sarcasm made an observation, "Why do you need those? Your mom has been using her machete to do that for years. She's gotten pretty good at it!"

By the time I was in junior high, that tree in the front yard had begun to grow into the wires over our street. My mom was distressed. At first, all she did was to cut a few of the stray branches back. However, every spring the tree would not only grow back, it came back taller and fuller. My mom is a pretty serious woman. So, she'd be back out there with her machete. She's got skills and the tree bears the scars of her proficiency. I truly wish I had video footage of my mom trying to snuf this tree out. There were years when the whole front yard was covered with the flowers, the limbs and pieces of the trunk of this tree and I would think, "It's dead now. Gotta be dead." Clearly, though, this tree has made a friend with Time.

It's still with us, the tree I mean. My mom seems to have accepted its presence and they co exist rather well. I sort of honor it with every spring's first bloom. I'm kind of amazed at its will. I'm really amazed at its beauty. It's beautiful in a beautiful, flowery way and it's beautiful in an alive, surviving way. I hope someday that that can be said about me.

Procrastination Syndrome

Fa'ana (FF): There has been an unnecessary and inconvenient genetic trait that has been passed on to all of us, miraculously skipping Aunt Lina--and maybe Cessie. Maybe. This is the curse of procrastination. In the years pushing for liberation from my nerve racking quirk, I admitted that I had a problem long ago. It was during my U.S. History exam, junior year when I actually thought, "If you don't know the answer, choose C." I chose C a lot! Coming out of the test feeling mostly embarrassed because I didn't want Mr. H to think I was an idiot--because I wasn't. I just didn't ever study.--I decided then and there, Never procrastinate again!

Well it is seven years later and I still catch myself saying, "Man, I promise I will never ever wait till the last minute again." I'm constantly making that dopey promise every week. Why do I have this irritating foresight? Especially since I'm positive that I will do something tomorrow (or the day after) that will consequently lead to a climatic moment next week when I will kick myself with the same self loathing thoughts of all the"What ifs...?" Yet, in the end I will come back to making the same empty promise to myself, "Seriously, for real. Quit screwin' off!"

Interestingly enough, I think I'm so close to learning my lesson. Honestly. Learning the lesson of, Why you should not be a bum and put things off. The only problem is, in all the opportunities I've had in almost learning it, LUCK has robbed me of the sweet reward in experiencing failure and/or loss. (That exam junior year...I got a 92%. This is the story of my life.)

Now, I would highly recommend not going about life in this manner. Waiting until the last minute, wingin' it, etc., etc. When crunch time comes it's very irresponsible, not to mention uncomfortable emotionally. It can also be mentally draining sitting with the anxieties and haunting thoughts of, "Why can't you just prepare like a"normal" person?!" (Like Aunt Lina) Maybe it's because you secretly hope that LUCK prevails this one last time, and next you "promise" you'll do all the prep work necessary.

Well, as I prepare to get ready for something this Sunday which should have been done two weeks ago, my fingers are hesitantly crossed as I half-heartedly pray, "God, maybe if you're not too busy, please let me learn the harsh lesson of procrastionation. No rush, though."

introduction

Lina (LT) : My niece had to explain to me the meaning of the oddball vortex....i got it after the explanation. She is a literary type, like her mother.

I was excited about the whole blogging idea...it was my sister's. Until I realized I would be having to hold my own with 5 women who are extremely bright, articulate, poetice, competitive and can put together a string of words better than most anyone else I know.

This should be fun. I am blogging with these 5 because I hate being left out and that is pretty much the only reason. I do embrace a good challenge now and then ... but knowing the other's in this vortex as i do, people will be pulling no punches. The View has nothing on the Vortex.

The Origins of the Odd Ball Vortex

The Odd Ball Vortex is fairly self-explanatory. The self-proclaimed Odd Balls are us: Margaret, Lina, Pat, Cessie, Fa'ana and Keilah. The six of us have all experienced being sucked into a people, a place and a perspective that binds us to each other yet simultaneously liberates us from one another. This is our voice and our vortex. Try not to get sucked in...

Welcome

There are six of us.
Two sets of sisters.
Two mothers.
Three nieces.
Two aunts.
Six daughters.

We're glad that you are here.